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✦ Strategy 5 of 6

Read their signals

Before a single word, your child is sending signals all day. A look. A reach. A turn of the body. The conversation already started.

3 minConnection arc
  1. 1
    They are already talking to you
    Start here

    Before a single word, your child is sending signals all day. A look. A reach. A turn of the body. You do not have to wait for speech to start a conversation. It already started.

    You have caught these before, by instinct. This lesson just makes the instinct something you can use on purpose.
  2. 2
    The signals are easy to miss
    The trap

    The signals are small and quiet. A glance held a beat too long. A hand that drifts toward a shelf. In a busy moment, these slip right past us. And every one we miss teaches the child that reaching out did not work.

    A signal that gets no answer is a door that stops getting knocked on. Catch the small ones, and your child keeps reaching.

  3. 3
    Name the signal out loud, then answer it
    What to do

    Watch their body and their eyes. When you catch a signal, say what you see, then respond. "You are looking at the bubbles. You want the bubbles. Here they are." You named it, and you answered. That is a full conversation.

    When you answer a signal, your child learns a powerful thing. What I do gets a response. That belief is where communication begins.

  4. 4
    Answered signals become words
    The research

    Long before children speak, they point, look, and reach. When those moves get a warm, reliable answer, children make more of them. More signals lead to more back-and-forth. More back-and-forth is the soil that words grow in.

    Children whose early signals are noticed and answered tend to communicate more, sooner. The answering is what teaches them their voice has power. Researchers have found this across many different studies.

  5. 5
    Quiet is not absent
    The reframe

    Some children send quiet signals. A small shift in the body. A change in their breathing. A flick of the eyes. If your child is hard to read, they are not failing to communicate. Their signals are just turned down low. You can learn to see them.

    "A child who seems hard to reach is often reaching the whole time. In a key you are still learning to hear."

  6. 6
    Try it tonight
    Tonight

    Pick one moment to watch closely. Catch one signal, name it out loud, and answer it. What will you watch for?

That is it. Catch it, name it, answer it.
Your child has been talking all along. Tonight you answer one thing they were already saying.
// strategy 5: unlocked ✦
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