- These are ideas many autistic adults say changed how they understand themselves.
- Each one has a plain definition, why it matters, and where it comes from.
- Several were developed by autistic researchers.
- You don't need to agree with all of them. Take what fits.
- Words you'll see in online communities are explained at the end.
Monotropism
Autistic attention tends to go deep on a few things at once, instead of spreading across many.
Why it matters: It explains why switching tasks feels painful, why interruptions cost so much, and why focused interests feel so good. It's a way of thinking, not a flaw.
Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism. Developed by autistic researchers.
The double empathy problem
Misunderstandings between autistic and non-autistic people go both ways. Neither side reads the other easily.
Why it matters: In a 2020 study, autistic people passed information to each other just as well as non-autistic people did. Information got lost when the two groups were mixed. Social difficulty is a mismatch, not something only you are doing wrong.
Milton, D. (2012). The double empathy problem. Disability & Society. Crompton, C. et al. (2020). Autistic peer-to-peer information transfer is highly effective. Autism.
Spoon theory and energy accounting
Daily energy is limited, and some things cost far more of it than others.
Why it matters: It gives you words for "I can't today" that other people understand, and a way to plan. MOEˣ's energy budget is built on this idea.
Spoon theory was first described by Christine Miserandino (2003), a writer with lupus, and is now widely used by disabled and neurodivergent people.
Masking and unmasking
Masking is hiding or copying behavior to fit in. Unmasking is slowly letting go of that where it's safe.
Why it matters: Masking is linked to exhaustion and burnout. Unmasking doesn't mean changing overnight. It can start with one small thing, like wearing headphones in public.
Hull, L. et al. (2017). "Putting on my best normal": social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders.
Spiky profile
Being very strong at some things and struggling with others that people assume are easier.
Why it matters: It explains how you can be an expert at work and still find a phone call or a grocery trip overwhelming. Both are true at once.
A common way clinicians and autistic people describe uneven abilities across areas.
Executive function
The brain's planning and starting system: getting started, switching tasks, keeping track of time, holding steps in mind.
Why it matters: Differences here are common in autism and ADHD. It's why the task breaker shows only the next step.
Executive function differences are well documented in autism and ADHD research.
Interoception and alexithymia
Interoception is noticing signals from your body, like hunger, thirst, or pain. Alexithymia is difficulty naming your own emotions.
Why it matters: About half of autistic people have alexithymia, according to a 2019 review. If you notice feelings or hunger late, reminders and check-ins at set times can help.
Kinnaird, E., Stewart, C., & Tchanturia, K. (2019). Investigating alexithymia in autism: a systematic review and meta-analysis. European Psychiatry.
Words you'll see online
These come from autistic and ADHD communities. Some are not clinical terms, and that's noted.
- AuDHD
- Being both autistic and ADHD. See Do I have ADHD too?
- Info-dumping
- Sharing a lot about something you love. Many autistic people use it to connect. It's often a sign of trust.
- Parallel play
- Spending time together while each doing your own thing. A low-pressure way to be close.
- Body doubling
- Doing a task near someone else, in person or on video, so it's easier to start and stay on track.
- Stimming
- Repetitive movements or sounds, like rocking or tapping, that help with calm or focus.
- Neurokin
- Other neurodivergent people you feel understood by.
- Focused or special interests
- Deep, lasting interests. They often bring joy, rest, and skill.
- Rejection sensitivity
- Strong emotional pain from rejection or criticism. Often discussed with ADHD. It's a community term, not a diagnosis.
- Meltdown and shutdown
- Overload that comes out, or goes in. See When it's too much.
- Neurotypical
- A word for people whose brains work in the most common way. Often shortened to NT.